When I first came out as bisexual, I had no idea how to be both bisexual and Bisexual and christian at the same time. I had a vague notion of how some lesbian and gay Christians had reconciled their sexuality and their faith, but their stories never completely spoke to mine.
How could a lesbian or gay Christian discuss the decision to come out as bi and open themselves to censure despite being in or pursuing only seemingly straight relationships? How could their stories answer my questions about whether or not being attracted to more than one gender was inherently incompatible with being a Christian? In the three years Bisexual and christian I first came out, I have been exposed to a lot more lesbian and gay Christian stories; but I still find it difficult to discover bisexual Christian ones.
While there are many solid generic bisexual resources Bisexual and christian and a good number of LG-focused Christian ones, the resources for bisexual Christians are limited. This means that the concerns that affect bisexuals are often not answered even in affirming Christian communities. With that in mind, here are five things I wish someone had told me about being a bi Christian when I first came out.
These messages of hope are by no means all-inclusive of the concerns I or others in the bi Christian community have had, but they address some of the biggest concerns that consumed me during my first couple of years coming out. I wish someone had told me that regardless of what anybody thought about my sexuality, my calling from God would not be taken away because of my bisexuality.
I wish Bisexual and christian had told me that my sexuality did not get in the way of my ability to serve God or be a ministry leader or worship. I wish someone had said that God was not trying to force me to choose a side by having my coming out process take place largely in Christian environments.
I wish someone had told me that allowing my sexuality to change my faith would strengthen not weaken my Christianity. I wish someone had told me that letting the multiplicity of my sexuality color my view of my faith would teach me to appreciate multiplicity within the body of Christ.
I wish someone had told me that weaving my bisexuality into my Christianity would give me the courage to fight for room for everyone at the table of God. Mostly, I wish someone had been around to tell me that bi Christians exist—in churches, in communities, in ministry.
We are not an anomaly, a problem, or an imaginary creature. We bisexual Christians need to be Bisexual and christian, because we are out there, and there are others like us who need to hear us, realise we're here, and take our support. Some of the nastiest remarks about bi's I have ever heard have come from those who self-identify as gay or lesbian.
I'm not sure why this is so. It's because by coming out as bisexual, you are saying to the gay community that you are also not of them because you can achieve heterosexual privilege and they can't. It's not right, but BOOM. Bisexual and christian our elephant in the room. You Bisexual and christian read this: Thats a great point. I certainly feel a strong distinction between me, a bisexual Christian woman, and lesbian Christians. But unfortunately dont have a commuity to talk to about these things.
Thanks for being here guys. The thinking is similar, but not exactly like, light-skinned African Americans who could pass for white.
We're like half-dwarves from The Chronicles of Narnia. Dwarves don't like us,and neither do humans. Your words bring tremendous hope. I came out as bisexual when I was in my mids, after my dad had told me he thought that when I was 17 and I flatly denied it. I mean, come on. Dads are not Bisexual and christian yes they are. I did not break up with my boyfriend because I did not love him.
Other factors at play. However, what I will always remember about that relationship is the way my lesbian friends treated me while Bisexual and christian was dating him. It was also really hard watching heterosexual privilege in action. Your words, in a lot of ways, let me rest. Thank you for the gift. Thank you for posting this. As a gay man much of what you say here makes sense and helps me too.
I find a lot of prejudice still exists amongst Christians but you are so right when you say that there is room for everyone at the table of God! Thank you so much for writing this!
One of the most disheartening things about being the "B" in the LGBT movement, and a Christian, is that you don't wholly fit into either camp. Bisexuals are viewed as flaky, promiscuous, needy, confused, wanting attention by many gays and lesbians.
In Christian circles, you're too queer to be properly welcomed into the fold of "true believers" and may even be vilified at every turn for your "sinful lifestyle choice". As far Bisexual and christian having heterosexual privilege is concerned just replying to Leslie's commenttry and remember that when we are in relationships with people of the same sex, hetero-privilege flies right out the window.
Also try and remember that if you Bisexual and christian a bisexual woman, men think it's "hot" and automatically assume you will engage in a threesome, and lesbians are terrified you're just greedy and will ultimately leave them for a man.
It definitely shrinks the dating pool and makes for awkward moments. Please remember, we face challenges Bisexual and christian our own.
I agree with Jenn, as a bisexual Christian I don't fully fit in the Christian culture which is a spiritual anchor in my life but does not accept my sexuality. I also don't fit in the Gay culture which tells me I'm really gay but want heterosexual advantage. This causes loneliness feel pressured to chose a side.
They judge every goddamn thing! I really hope you get the support you deserve!
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However tradition's are not! People are also trained to like one sex. I, personally, have very recently come to the conclusion that I'm Bi, and have been very distraught as I've been a very faithful Christian my whole life.
This article brought a great deal of comfort to me, and I wanted to thank you for that. Thank you for your Bisexual and christian. They are helping me. I'm getting older and am just coming to terms with my sexuality and reconciling it with Bisexual and christian Christian.
I feel the same.
I recently as well have realized I am bisexual and am just trying to cope with all these overwhelming feelings. Thanks this is encouraging. I am a christian bisexual in ministry who has only just started to come to terms with my sexualitiy. This gives me hope. I've only started coming to terms with my sexuality and felt like I've had no allies. Thank you for your words. Thank you so so so so so very much for this. Bisexual and christian haven't come out yet but I'm certain that I'm bisexual.
I'm not sure how, but I'll find a way to Bisexual and christian out. God bless you and thank you again. Maybe a gay bar than a bar than you're friends. Would be a good order to come out. I'm a bisexual Christian man in later years who is struggling having recently married a very lovely and very conservative straight woman. I thought that marriage would 'cure' me of my bisexuality, but it hasn't Initially I was convinced that it was God who brought us together.
I still think that's true, but I'm tempted to doubt it, although I don't want to. I guess I'm in a bit of a fix! We talk about LGBT issues quite Bisexual and christian lot but always just end up just agreeing to disagree.
Her arguments are always mixed up and illogical, and they don't hold water, but she can't see that. She simply believes what others have told her. As things stand it will take a miracle for my wife to see that the whole LGBTQ Bisexual and christian is not some kind of massive perversion.
I very much value your prayers for that miracle to take place! I came out 8 days ago--to one trusted friend--after almost 40 years of knowing and secretly, very discretly did what bisexuals do. I've been sobbing of and on today knowing that being in integrity means that I no longer get to lie.
I've lied to cover lies buried so far back into my past and into my psyche that practically nothing remains of myself that is real in any social context.