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Why am i not successful in online hookup

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I remember the day after, when my flatmate asked me how it went. I beamed at her over my cup of tea.

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I met that man about 10 years ago. Millions of other people. Our lonely little hearts are very big business.

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Online dating may appear to be the swiftest route to love, or something like it. But until you win the grand prize — never having to do it again — it always feels a last resort, the sign that you possess a fatal flaw that has prevented the achievement of true love through one of the more classic routes: These days, if you do go on a date with someone you meet out in the world, everyone is very surprised and will get very excited: Tell us again about how he talked to you on the tube!

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The proliferation of websites and dating apps has not necessarily been a good thing. I know quite a few people who have found love through OKCupid and Tinder — marriage, in a couple of cases — but I know far more who have been on two or three dates with nice people who have drifted and disappeared after a promising start.

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The rise of Tinder as the default platform has especially increased the speed and volume of choosing and rejecting. Once we read long-form profiles. Now we maniacally, obsessively screen candidates in milliseconds.

For example, you could find out if the man you went on a date with last night was looking for other women while you popped to the loo in the middle of dinner he was. I would have met none of them in my local. It means allowing yourself and your partner a kind of vulnerability that is often regarded as a sign of weakness and a source of fear.


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