Define and elaborate passionate love and companionate love. Also make a comparison between these two types of love. It is the most universal emotion and the most powerful. It shapes, gives meaning to, and destroys lives.
How much of us do we give when we love? Can one define and measure love? We have ways Passionate and companionate love measure aggression, prejudice, and attraction — but how do we measure love? Elizabeth Barrett Browning posed a similar question: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Psychologist Robert Sternberg views Passionate and companionate love as a triangle, whose sides of varying lengths are passion, intimacy, and commitment.
Sociologist John Alan Lee and psychologists Clyde and Susan Hendrick identify three primary love styles — eros self-disclosing passionludus uncommitted game playingand storge friendship — which like primary colors, combine to form secondary love styles.
Some love styles, notably eros and storge, predict high relationship satisfaction; others such as ludus, predict low satisfaction. Passionate love is love most people can identify with.
It is the most intense and the most exciting. If our love is reciprocated, we would feel ecstatic. But if not, it would devastate us. We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love — stated Freud.
Passionate love preoccupies the lover with thoughts of the other — a habit we are all guilty of and sometimes affects our appetite and sleep patterns. Passionate love is what you feel when you not only love someone, you are in love with that person. It also has a lot to do with being sexually attracted to that person.
Falling passionately in love is an initation rite to a fulfilled life. It teaches us a lot Passionate and companionate love significant things and molds us into a mature individual. Only through loving someone and belonging in a passionate relationship can we feel the longest range of emotions: Although passionate love reaches high temperatures, it eventually cools down.
The longer a relationship endures, the fewer its emotional ups Passionate and companionate love downs Berscheid, This may be observed among married couples who have reached their 10th year anniversary. The novelty wears off and the thrill of the romance inevitably fades over the years.
Some begin to feel dissatisfaction and look for that passionate love once again outside the marriage.
The ones that endure will settle to a loyal, steady, affectionate kind of love which is the companionate love. It may not be as wild as passionate love, but it is more comfortable. It is the feeling that you know you always have your spouse to depend on.
No high lasts forever. Passionate and companionate love constancy and repetition, tolerance and familiarity develops. The common mistake most people make is they assume romantic love should be the driving force to make a marriage last.
In my opinion, it should be friendship, because it is more reliable relationship and truly stands the test of time. It is fitting to end this article with a quote from Mark Twain: No man or woman really knows what love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. Psychologist Elaine Hatfield has described two different types of love: Compassionate love involves feelings of mutual respect, trust and affection, while passionate love involves intense feelings and sexual attraction.
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Passionate love is a complex functional whole including appraisals or appreciations, subjective feelings, expressions, patterned physiological processes, action tendencies, and instrumental behaviors. Reciprocated love union with the other is associated with fulfillment and ecstasy. How this relationship was progressing and how long it was going to continue, would determine, to some extent, whether or not and how long the beautiful fragile butterfly will stay with the gray bird.
The behaviors of the bird and butterfly in their Passionate and companionate love could be used to define their love. Here I want to discuss the love relationship. And I define the love as companionate love compared with passionate love. According to The Handbook of Social Psychologythe two types of love are defined as follows:. The Passionate and companionate love of romance may be sustained for a few months, even a couple of years.
But as we noted in the discussion of adaptation Chapter 10no high lasts forever.
About four years after marriage, the divorce rate peaks in cultures worldwide Fisher, If a close relationship is to endure, it will settle to a steadier but still warm afterglow that Hatfield calls companionate love. We could learn from the book that when the beautiful fragile butterfly met the gray bird at the very beginning, she was frightened by his hideous song.
She fell in love with the strange gray Passionate and companionate love and this love should be a companionate love.